the spaghetti incident
by celtic33
Summary: Bones carelessly splashes sauce on her partner's expensive suit. Whatever will happen next? ;


**A/N:** I don't own anything. Well maybe the writing but the characters or songs. Nope not a one.

"Jesus Bones! Are you paying attention to what you're doing?"

He looked down at his charcoal gray suit and shook his head. His bright yellow tie matched the rest of his suit which now resembled some sort of twisted camouflage.

She looked at him as innocently as she could muster while smiling coyly. "I was paying attention to what I was doing. What I wasn't paying attention to was how close in proximity you were. Just like in the lab, I don't like it when you hover over me, especially in my own kitchen."

She could see the anger in his eyes smoldering away and turning into something else that she wasn't sure she could identify. She could feel the heat radiating off of her partner like after a severe sunburn at two in the morning.

She let her eyes wander down to see the sauce stains on his clothes. Some of smaller red splotches had already dried to a brownish hue. If she didn't know any better the sauce stains looked similar to blood. She quickly shook her head of the memory of seeing him with his clothes covered in blood from when he stepped into Pam's bullet shielding her from being injured.

"You see this Bones?" he asked loudly. "This is a 1,200 suit that now looks like I could go undercover in a Christmas display at the mall."

She snorted as she returned from her reverie.

"I'm sorry," she said as solemnly as possible. "I'll buy you a new one. Why don't you go in the bathroom and take those stained things off. I'm not going to have you sitting on any of my furniture looking like that."

"Then what?" he asked with an annoyed look on his face. "Am I supposed to just hang out in your bathroom? I don't have any clothes here and I removed my gym bag from my truck so I could wash them in the laundry."

She smiled from ear to ear as the thought of her nearly naked partner being imprisoned in her apartment didn't sound like a bad idea at all.

"I'll find you something to wear," she said as she resumed stirring the sauce. She turned down the heat and replaced the cover. She turned him around and pushed him down the hallway towards her bathroom. "Give me your clothes when you're done and I'll throw them in the wash."

"But this suit, like all of my suits, is dry clean only."

"Well you told me I ruined it," she said matter-of-factly. "Therefore I can't ruin it more if I wash it regularly and at least then you won't ruin my furniture when you sit down."

"Fine," he said curtly as he walked into the bathroom and shut the door.

She scoured her closet, looking through her clothes before she realized that none of her work clothes waists would pass the midpoint of his thighs. She smiled at the thought of him trying on her clothes before she erupted into full fledged laughter. She could imagine him getting her pants up to his knees before tripping and falling over.

She laughed again as it reminded her of that movie from the '80s that the boy made a wish and woke up a grown man who also had trouble getting the too small clothes on.

"Bones?" he asked through the cracked bathroom door. "Any luck?"

"Well I'm trying to find something that will fit and that isn't too flowery since your alpha manhood probably couldn't handle it," she teased.

She could hear grumbles and mutters spewing from the bathroom that reminded her of that Christmas movie with the father that was always swearing like a lumberjack down in the basement.

"Booth?" She said as she walked to the bathroom door. "I've got something for you to try."

An eye appeared in the crack of the doorframe and she passed the clothes to his outstretched hand.

"They're workout clothes and relatively stretchy so they might fit."

She waited patiently and as the door opened she burst into hysterics as his face turned a deep crimson color. She saw that the shirt fit very snugly across his sculpted chest and his arms stretched the sleeves to their limit. She also took in his bare midriff as the hem of the shirt rested about two inches above his bellybutton. The purple mesh shorts were no better as his tree like legs filled the leg holes to their threshold leaving her loose fitting shorts constricting the blood flow to his legs. The fabric was so bunched up it looked like a purple fig leaf barely covering what was beneath.

He slammed the door in her face as he quickly removed the offending clothes. He couldn't believe she'd laugh like that. _'After all they were her clothes. Her clothes. As in smelling like her.'_ He inhaled deeply at the medley of fragrances that were unique to his Bones. This was a smell he had been addicted to for years now and had been craving a fresh hit for awhile. He reveled in the fact that her smell was now all over his body from trying on her clothes.

He tried to refocus his thoughts since he knew her clothes barely fit him and if he couldn't regain control of his thoughts, he would never be able to leave the bathroom with some tight fitting piece of fabric that couldn't conceal his unfortunately timed biological reaction to her scent.

She returned to the bathroom and knocked on the door. "Booth, I've got a bathrobe that should at least fit until your other clothes are dry."

The bathroom door cracked open again as he threw the shorts and t-shirt at her while yanking the robe from her outstretched hand.

He emerged moments later wrapped in her fluffy powder blue bathrobe. She thought he looked more secure in his manhood draped in the more masculine tone. The dark dress socks with fluorescent zigzags completed the look perfectly.

He tried to take solace in the fact that she didn't have any men's clothes in her apartment, which meant that there was no trace of any other men that had been there. He vowed to leave something behind the next time he was here, even if he had to smuggle it in.

"You know Bones," he said teasingly. "If you wanted me to take off my clothes, you could've asked. You didn't have to destroy an expensive suit in the process."

Her mouth agape at his bluntness; a bluntness that she had never heard from him before. "I'll have you know that I had no intention of ruining your clothes. It was purely an accident."

"Just like the time you spilled mee krob on me? Just like the time your beer exploded all over me? I must say that I'm sensing a trend."

"Okay," she held out her hands to her sides with her palms up. "So three times now, I've accidentally caused your clothes to get soiled. And that's over a span of almost four years. How is that a trend?"

He stood up in defiant arrogance. "And the last two times you proceeded to try and wipe off the mess which I swear was just a feeble attempt to feel me up."

"If I wanted to feel you up, I would've just felt you up," she said as her temple pulsed in anger.

"Oh you would've would you?" he asked as he crossed his arms defensively across his chest which pulled the robe loose so it was now barely closed. The robe being held together by the lone tensile belt that was almost at its ends slowly letting go revealing some garish silk boxers underneath.

Her eyes darted down momentarily to catch the view of his ridiculous looking underwear covered in brightly colored surf boards. She quickly averted her gaze so he wouldn't suspect her of staring.

She felt her pulse coursing through her body and her heart pounding through her chest however it was no longer in her temples. She glanced down at his boxers again and then turned around and walked into the kitchen without saying a word.

He followed her into the kitchen and found her sipping on a bottle of water as she closed the door to the refrigerator. He could see the perspiration on the bottle as it slowly dripped onto her clavicle. He was mesmerized by the droplet as it collected another droplet and then slowly licked its way down her chest disappearing beneath the fabric of her shirt.

She rubbed the bottle across her forehead to cool her skin. Her breathing was rushed like she was running a marathon. She glanced down at his boxers again and noticed that there was certainly a normal biological reaction taking place. It just wasn't one she expected to see under these circumstances.

She took a large swig of the water leaving only a few drops of residue. She walked closer to him and flicked the couple of remaining drops at him.

He didn't say a word but flinched slightly as the cold drops struck his skin.

"Oops," she said huskily. "It was an accident." She grabbed a towel and started to rub his chest that barely had and water left on it as most had steamed off already. "You really should get out of these wet things or you'll catch a cold."

He licked his palm and caressed her shoulder leaving a snail like path of moisture in its wake. "You too," he said.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hours later they started walking through her apartment picking up pieces of clothing as they went. She straightened the picture frame hanging in the hallway. He put the cushions back on her couch. She sopped up the water from the vase that spilled all over the dining room table. He picked up her coat rack that had fallen over.

Once everything looked like it was in its proper place, they walked into the kitchen.

"The sauce is still warm if you're hungry," she said

"Well I've certainly worked up an appetite," he said with a grin.

He picked up the magnets and papers that had been discarded and put them all back on the door. "I will say that I've been skittish around refrigerators since yours blew me up, but now I'll only be able to associate them with gaining leverage," he said with a wink and a charm smile.

"And the couch," she added with a devilish grin. "And the doorframe, and the table, and…."


End file.
